And that is my day :) I hope this has helped and inspired some you recovering or given you some healthy ideas
Thank you for reading
B x
Showing posts with label starving yummy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label starving yummy. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
What I eat in a day- recovery meal plan
Hi :) so a lot of people on tumblr have asked me what exactly I eat daily since I am recovering from anorexia so I thought I'd show you. My diet is based on a meal plan I was given when I started recovery to help me gain weight slowly and get loads of nutrients in my body.
So the first thing I do when I wake up is drink fluids because it boosts your metabolism for the day and wakes you up. So I fill up a litre bottle with ice water and have some green tea which is super healthy for you and helps fight and prevent disease
My breakfat is in two parts. I have two wheetabix (or wheat biscuits) which is low in sugar and salt, heated with milk and wholemeal toast with butter
Lunch I have a sandwich with two slices of wholemeal bread, butter and ham with a yogurt and chocolate- I always have malteasers but you can have any
Afternoon snack i experiment with smoothies so I have a different one everyday. Today was banana, strawberry, yogurt and spinach and was so yummy and full of nutrients for my body
Dinner chnaged every night (obviously) and tonight was wholegrain pasta with bolognese
For pudding I have chocolate and another yogurt and to finish I have two biscuits (or cookies if you're from the ISA) with some milk
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Recovery from Anorexia.
Hello :)
So a lot of my previous posts have been focused around anorexia and what it is like and the stigma surrounding the illness but I've realised I haven't written about recovery from anorexia. I know before I decided to enter recovery I didn't know what to expect and wanted to know what it was really like from a patients perspective. So in this post I am going to write about what my own personal recovery is like, how to enter into recovery for anorexia and what you can expect from recovery.
*I'd like to say I am based in the UK and so my knowledge about anorexia recovery can only really apply to the UK, also every institution has different ways in treating this illness this is just my own experience*
My Personal RecoveryMy recovery from anorexia began in September 2014. I go to a specialised hospital for the eating disorders and I am in the outpatient programme (meaning I don't stay at the hospital). They began my treatment by assessing me by basically asking me questions about my disorder such as:
-do I take any laxatives?
-do I purge?
-do I have fear foods?
-how many calories do I eat a day?
-what is my perception of myself?
They then took me into the medical room and took my weight and calculated my BMI, and did an all over body check. They sent to take 4 blood tests (over the course of the week) and an ECG scan (which checks your heart rate). At the end of the assessment they gave me the diagnosis of 'anorexia nervosa restrictive type' and gave me a beginner meal plan.
A meal plan is basically a plan of meals and snacks that you have to eat each day, it says the types of food that you can have at each snack/meal and the serving size. It's calculated to make sure you put weight on at a steady but safe rate and your body is getting all the nutrients its needs after being denied it for so long. The majority of eating disorder units put you on a low meal plan initially, because after months of starvation it's extremely bad and dangerous for you to begin to eat normal portions of food straight away. When I ate the food on this meal plan I felt like my stomach was going to split open where I was so full where I hadn't eaten for months. Once my body had adapted I was put onto a regular meal plan with much bigger portions meant for me to put on weight.
As for the therapy I see an eating disorder specialist every week to talk about my thoughts and she helps me put things to perspective for me and realise that being thin and not eating isn't a good thing, it is fatal. I also get weighed every week to track my progress.
(Above) Portion size for dinner on regular meal plan
How to enter recovery
The best thing to do if you want or need to get help for anorexia is to honestly tell your parent or guardian, it will make things a lot easier for you especially when you're under the age of 18 as you can access all the best help through parental permission.
Going to your G.P is probably the best way to get help directly as they will have access to the best treatments in your area and will put you forward to be on the waiting list to be seen and assessed. The waiting lists for NHS treatment centres are long unfortunately (I waited 4 months).
Private treatment is similar to the treatment you can access through the NHS except there is no waiting list and you have to pay.
Be Prepared.
Anorexia recovery (like all recoveries) is extremely hard. When you begin to eat your meal plans your anorexia will scream so loudly it will be almost impossible to ignore it. You will feel so huge and you will be bloated and so full. But the bloating will fade in time as will the feeling so full because your body will adapt. Your eating disorder will tell you not to trust the treatment because they will make you fat. You will have days where the eating disorder goes and you follow your meal plan perfectly with little guilt. There will be days or weeks where your eating disorder will flare up and make you want to restrict/purge, I have hidden my foods on my meal plans for weeks, but you realise that will get you no where.
I've realised that hiding food will get me nowhere and this meal plan is the best possible thing for me. If I restrict I am feeding my eating disorder and nothing else. I have accepted that putting on weight is the best thing for me to get back my period, and my hair and my movement and energy and just my life. And you will realise that too
If you are in any doubt about whether recovery is worth it. It is.
It's scary and it's horrendous at times. I've hated myself and felt fatter then ever but I can stand up without blacking out, I have energy to laugh, to walk, I'm not cold all the time. If you do not eat you're feeding your eating disorder and the misery you feel with this illness will just get worse. My eating disorder made me love being thin but nowhere near as much as I love recovery and my recovery life. Below are some useful websites for you if you need or are interested in anorexia recovery
remember that eating is a requirement to survive and you have every right to eat
be strong
thank you so much for reading
B x
Recovering from anorexia and bulimia
National centre for eating disorder recovery
NHS-Anorexia Nervosa
So a lot of my previous posts have been focused around anorexia and what it is like and the stigma surrounding the illness but I've realised I haven't written about recovery from anorexia. I know before I decided to enter recovery I didn't know what to expect and wanted to know what it was really like from a patients perspective. So in this post I am going to write about what my own personal recovery is like, how to enter into recovery for anorexia and what you can expect from recovery.
*I'd like to say I am based in the UK and so my knowledge about anorexia recovery can only really apply to the UK, also every institution has different ways in treating this illness this is just my own experience*
My Personal RecoveryMy recovery from anorexia began in September 2014. I go to a specialised hospital for the eating disorders and I am in the outpatient programme (meaning I don't stay at the hospital). They began my treatment by assessing me by basically asking me questions about my disorder such as:
-do I take any laxatives?
-do I purge?
-do I have fear foods?
-how many calories do I eat a day?
-what is my perception of myself?
They then took me into the medical room and took my weight and calculated my BMI, and did an all over body check. They sent to take 4 blood tests (over the course of the week) and an ECG scan (which checks your heart rate). At the end of the assessment they gave me the diagnosis of 'anorexia nervosa restrictive type' and gave me a beginner meal plan.
A meal plan is basically a plan of meals and snacks that you have to eat each day, it says the types of food that you can have at each snack/meal and the serving size. It's calculated to make sure you put weight on at a steady but safe rate and your body is getting all the nutrients its needs after being denied it for so long. The majority of eating disorder units put you on a low meal plan initially, because after months of starvation it's extremely bad and dangerous for you to begin to eat normal portions of food straight away. When I ate the food on this meal plan I felt like my stomach was going to split open where I was so full where I hadn't eaten for months. Once my body had adapted I was put onto a regular meal plan with much bigger portions meant for me to put on weight.
As for the therapy I see an eating disorder specialist every week to talk about my thoughts and she helps me put things to perspective for me and realise that being thin and not eating isn't a good thing, it is fatal. I also get weighed every week to track my progress.
(Above) portion size for dinner on starter meal plan
(Above) Portion size for dinner on regular meal plan
How to enter recovery
The best thing to do if you want or need to get help for anorexia is to honestly tell your parent or guardian, it will make things a lot easier for you especially when you're under the age of 18 as you can access all the best help through parental permission.
Going to your G.P is probably the best way to get help directly as they will have access to the best treatments in your area and will put you forward to be on the waiting list to be seen and assessed. The waiting lists for NHS treatment centres are long unfortunately (I waited 4 months).
Private treatment is similar to the treatment you can access through the NHS except there is no waiting list and you have to pay.
Be Prepared.
Anorexia recovery (like all recoveries) is extremely hard. When you begin to eat your meal plans your anorexia will scream so loudly it will be almost impossible to ignore it. You will feel so huge and you will be bloated and so full. But the bloating will fade in time as will the feeling so full because your body will adapt. Your eating disorder will tell you not to trust the treatment because they will make you fat. You will have days where the eating disorder goes and you follow your meal plan perfectly with little guilt. There will be days or weeks where your eating disorder will flare up and make you want to restrict/purge, I have hidden my foods on my meal plans for weeks, but you realise that will get you no where.
I've realised that hiding food will get me nowhere and this meal plan is the best possible thing for me. If I restrict I am feeding my eating disorder and nothing else. I have accepted that putting on weight is the best thing for me to get back my period, and my hair and my movement and energy and just my life. And you will realise that too
If you are in any doubt about whether recovery is worth it. It is.
It's scary and it's horrendous at times. I've hated myself and felt fatter then ever but I can stand up without blacking out, I have energy to laugh, to walk, I'm not cold all the time. If you do not eat you're feeding your eating disorder and the misery you feel with this illness will just get worse. My eating disorder made me love being thin but nowhere near as much as I love recovery and my recovery life. Below are some useful websites for you if you need or are interested in anorexia recovery
remember that eating is a requirement to survive and you have every right to eat
be strong
thank you so much for reading
B x
Recovering from anorexia and bulimia
National centre for eating disorder recovery
NHS-Anorexia Nervosa
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
2015.
Hello :)
Well 2014 has finally come to an end *sigh of relief*
This year has been without a doubt awful but I don't want to dwell on that too much. I wanted to share with you all my resolutions for the new year, however cliché and predictable it is
In 2015 I want to:
-drink more water
-do a good thing everyday (no matter how small)
-write blog posts weekly
-wear what I want
-eat a food that scares me everyday
-be honest
-go on more adventurous
-focus on what matters
-be happy, no matter what or who that involves
Only a short post
thank you for reading
B x
Well 2014 has finally come to an end *sigh of relief*
This year has been without a doubt awful but I don't want to dwell on that too much. I wanted to share with you all my resolutions for the new year, however cliché and predictable it is
In 2015 I want to:
-drink more water
-do a good thing everyday (no matter how small)
-write blog posts weekly
-wear what I want
-eat a food that scares me everyday
-be honest
-go on more adventurous
-focus on what matters
-be happy, no matter what or who that involves
Only a short post
thank you for reading
B x
Monday, November 3, 2014
My story with anorexia.
Hello :)
It's been a good while since I have posted anything on this blog, I guess I just kind of forgot about it for a while with all the things that have been happening in my life.
I have been wanting to do this post for a while because many say that even if no one is interested it is good to write it all down and get it off your chest.
This post (as you may of been able to tell from the title) is the story of my own personal battle with anorexia from start to finish and so this post will be a long one so I won't get offended if you get bored and sign off half way through.
Before I begin I would like to quickly mention in the year 2012/2013 I suffered with self harming and depression and also this is my own personal story with anorexia everyone's story is different.
In May 2014 I decided that I was going to try and get my figure more to how I wanted it to be, my boyfriend at the time was really into exercise and fitness and watching him work to get his body the best it could be really inspired me to do the same. So I made a plan that in my two week period after my AS exams I would exercise everyday and start eating healthily and in order to do this I downloaded an app called My Fitness Pal.
At the start I really enjoyed it, I liked my fitness improving and eating healthily it made me feel better in myself and when I actually started to see physical changes in my body in spurred me on to do more and more.
Then I spent one weekend away to visit a University and I ate a lot of junk food because being in a car the majority of the time you can't really access 'healthy foods' and when I got home I discovered that I had put on 2lbs. I had this gut wrenching feeling of failure and I hated it and I hated myself and I remember standing on the scale in my bathroom thinking 'this can never happen again'.
So the exercising began to increase to everyday and became more and more intense and my food intake was a strict 1200 calories a day of good and healthy foods and I began to avoid foods that are known to be unhealthy such as chocolate, pizza etc.
Before I knew it I was sucked in, obsessed completely with exercise and food. My daily food intake was cut from 1200 calories to 900 and my exercise routine remained the same. I began to weigh myself after every meal and every workout and I became more and more unhappy with what the scale told me and so I cut down on my food even more.
By September I was eating 400 calories a day maximum, I had a list of foods that I strictly couldn't eat:
-chocolate
-sweets
-crisps/chips
-biscuits
-junk food (burgers, pizza etc)
-cake
-bread
-pasta
-any sauces (ketchup, gravy)
-carrots
-apples
-bananas
-pears
-salt and pepper
-red meat
-potatoes
-oil
-spreads (butter, peanut butter etc.)
-cereal
-normal yogurt (only no fat natural greek yogurt allowed)
-any food over 100 calories
and list of rules I had made myself:
-drink water before and after every meal
-chew your food at least 30 times before swallowing
-no food in-between meals
-no food after 5pm
I couldn't see what I was doing to my body all I saw was fat, I obsessively rubbed my hip bones and ribs to check I hadn't gained fat from just eating. I had no energy to go out of the house and my joints ached to the point where I couldn't stand or walk for longer then 10 minutes, every time I stood my eyes when black and my head spun and I had to grab onto a side until my vision was restored. I could no longer do the long intense workouts I once did so I obsessively did 200 jumping jacks, 100 burpees, 60 crunches, 60 mountain climbers, 50 high knees three times a day everyday.
I became a vile person to be around when your body is starving you don't sleep and so I was surviving off 4hours of sleep per night and 400 calories a day and so I didn't have energy to even speak I just snapped at my loved ones for no reasons until the point where no one wanted to be around me. I became severely constipated and used it as an excuse to abuse laxatives and took around 7 each day I became addicted to them as I loved the feeling of my stomach being completely empty. I couldn't eat something unless I knew exactly how many calories it had in it, and I went food shopping with my mum every week until the point where I couldn't physically go because where I had been starving for so long being around food triggered a binge setting in my brain where I wanted to eat everything. I didn't see friends because I physically couldn't and when I got home I collapsed in bed and slept. I was cold to my core all the time even in summer, I went to Spain where it was 28 degrees in the evening and had to wear a jumper.
I dropped from 9stone 10 pounds to 7 stone in 2 months. My bra size went from 34 C to a 30 A (with room). My periods stopped. My hair thinned out and began to come out in clumps. My body was extremely dehydrated and malnourished. And I didn't care. My illness told me that all the bad things were worth it because I was getting thinner and I was better person because I was thin, I wasn't a failure anymore and people loved me more now.
On September 13th 2014 my boyfriend of 2 year who I planned to go to University with left me, he couldn't handle it anymore my vile moods and obsessive behaviour was sending him into depression. My mum had broken down completely exhausted with the worry of if I had collapsed at school or died in the night. On September 15th 2014 I got admitted to a specialised eating disorder clinic and I have been in recovery ever since.
I haven't suffered with my illness for long like millions of others, but the development of my illness was quick and dangerous.
I am currently in recovery and face a battle in my mind every time I eat but now I am getting better I realised that I wasn't living back then, I was dying and I choose recovery over a thigh gap and hip bones any day because in recovery I have my life back, I laugh again and go out.
Anorexia took everything from me, the love of my life, my ability to have children, my family, my friends. But she isn't going to take anything else.
If you made it to the end well done !
Thank you so much for reading, if you have any questions please ask and if you think you are suffering from an eating disorder PLEASE TELL SOMEONE and if you need to talk to me send me a question on tumblr:
Keep Smiling you lovely people
B x
It's been a good while since I have posted anything on this blog, I guess I just kind of forgot about it for a while with all the things that have been happening in my life.
I have been wanting to do this post for a while because many say that even if no one is interested it is good to write it all down and get it off your chest.
This post (as you may of been able to tell from the title) is the story of my own personal battle with anorexia from start to finish and so this post will be a long one so I won't get offended if you get bored and sign off half way through.
Before I begin I would like to quickly mention in the year 2012/2013 I suffered with self harming and depression and also this is my own personal story with anorexia everyone's story is different.
In May 2014 I decided that I was going to try and get my figure more to how I wanted it to be, my boyfriend at the time was really into exercise and fitness and watching him work to get his body the best it could be really inspired me to do the same. So I made a plan that in my two week period after my AS exams I would exercise everyday and start eating healthily and in order to do this I downloaded an app called My Fitness Pal.
At the start I really enjoyed it, I liked my fitness improving and eating healthily it made me feel better in myself and when I actually started to see physical changes in my body in spurred me on to do more and more.
Then I spent one weekend away to visit a University and I ate a lot of junk food because being in a car the majority of the time you can't really access 'healthy foods' and when I got home I discovered that I had put on 2lbs. I had this gut wrenching feeling of failure and I hated it and I hated myself and I remember standing on the scale in my bathroom thinking 'this can never happen again'.
So the exercising began to increase to everyday and became more and more intense and my food intake was a strict 1200 calories a day of good and healthy foods and I began to avoid foods that are known to be unhealthy such as chocolate, pizza etc.
Before I knew it I was sucked in, obsessed completely with exercise and food. My daily food intake was cut from 1200 calories to 900 and my exercise routine remained the same. I began to weigh myself after every meal and every workout and I became more and more unhappy with what the scale told me and so I cut down on my food even more.
By September I was eating 400 calories a day maximum, I had a list of foods that I strictly couldn't eat:
-chocolate
-sweets
-crisps/chips
-biscuits
-junk food (burgers, pizza etc)
-cake
-bread
-pasta
-any sauces (ketchup, gravy)
-carrots
-apples
-bananas
-pears
-salt and pepper
-red meat
-potatoes
-oil
-spreads (butter, peanut butter etc.)
-cereal
-normal yogurt (only no fat natural greek yogurt allowed)
-any food over 100 calories
and list of rules I had made myself:
-drink water before and after every meal
-chew your food at least 30 times before swallowing
-no food in-between meals
-no food after 5pm
I couldn't see what I was doing to my body all I saw was fat, I obsessively rubbed my hip bones and ribs to check I hadn't gained fat from just eating. I had no energy to go out of the house and my joints ached to the point where I couldn't stand or walk for longer then 10 minutes, every time I stood my eyes when black and my head spun and I had to grab onto a side until my vision was restored. I could no longer do the long intense workouts I once did so I obsessively did 200 jumping jacks, 100 burpees, 60 crunches, 60 mountain climbers, 50 high knees three times a day everyday.
I became a vile person to be around when your body is starving you don't sleep and so I was surviving off 4hours of sleep per night and 400 calories a day and so I didn't have energy to even speak I just snapped at my loved ones for no reasons until the point where no one wanted to be around me. I became severely constipated and used it as an excuse to abuse laxatives and took around 7 each day I became addicted to them as I loved the feeling of my stomach being completely empty. I couldn't eat something unless I knew exactly how many calories it had in it, and I went food shopping with my mum every week until the point where I couldn't physically go because where I had been starving for so long being around food triggered a binge setting in my brain where I wanted to eat everything. I didn't see friends because I physically couldn't and when I got home I collapsed in bed and slept. I was cold to my core all the time even in summer, I went to Spain where it was 28 degrees in the evening and had to wear a jumper.
I dropped from 9stone 10 pounds to 7 stone in 2 months. My bra size went from 34 C to a 30 A (with room). My periods stopped. My hair thinned out and began to come out in clumps. My body was extremely dehydrated and malnourished. And I didn't care. My illness told me that all the bad things were worth it because I was getting thinner and I was better person because I was thin, I wasn't a failure anymore and people loved me more now.
On September 13th 2014 my boyfriend of 2 year who I planned to go to University with left me, he couldn't handle it anymore my vile moods and obsessive behaviour was sending him into depression. My mum had broken down completely exhausted with the worry of if I had collapsed at school or died in the night. On September 15th 2014 I got admitted to a specialised eating disorder clinic and I have been in recovery ever since.
I haven't suffered with my illness for long like millions of others, but the development of my illness was quick and dangerous.
I am currently in recovery and face a battle in my mind every time I eat but now I am getting better I realised that I wasn't living back then, I was dying and I choose recovery over a thigh gap and hip bones any day because in recovery I have my life back, I laugh again and go out.
Anorexia took everything from me, the love of my life, my ability to have children, my family, my friends. But she isn't going to take anything else.
If you made it to the end well done !
Thank you so much for reading, if you have any questions please ask and if you think you are suffering from an eating disorder PLEASE TELL SOMEONE and if you need to talk to me send me a question on tumblr:
Keep Smiling you lovely people
B x
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