Healthy Granola Bars

Hello :)
Okay so recently I have been trying to eat healthy alternatives to my favourite foods, and eating healthier meals etc.
However I face one problem with this...I'm not a big fan of 'healthy' food
I mean I like fruit and vegetables and brown pasta, bread etc. But I don't like things like quinoa, lentils, meat substitutes, and only eating vegetables for my dinner and constantly having salads for lunch like most of the healthy bloggers out there do
And so a lot of these healthy cook books don't really appeal to me so it is hard for me to find healthy recipes I actually do like

These are granola bars have been a long time in the making. I've gone through a lot of trial and error with these until they tasted how I wanted them too and I think they taste so yummy and they are full of natural ingredients that are all healthy which is exactly what I, and everyone else wants in healthy foods.

 

Ingredients:

• 300g of dates (pitted)
• 200g oats
• 50g sunflower seeds
• 50g pumpkin seeds
• 50g raisons
• 2tbps cinnamon

*you can use any type of seed/nut you want and as many as you want, to add sweetness you can add tbps of maple syrup or a teaspoon of stevia*

Methods:

• preheat your oven to 200degrees Celsius
• de-pit your dates and place them in a pan of boiling water and let them soften (this can take up to 7 minutes) 
• once soften mush the dates to a paste (if you have a blender use this to make your life easier)
• in a separate bowl mix the cinnamon, oats and sweetener if you've added it together and then add the date paste and mix until all the oats are covered
• add in your chosen seeds, nuts and raisons and mix
• transfer you mixture to a baking tray that is covered by a greaseproof sheet so it doesn't stick
• bake for 20-30 minutes until golden brown
• once out the oven cut into bars and leave to cool

These bars are full of fibre and so will give you slow releasing energy throughout the day. The dates (which actually taste so good) provide you with a portion of fruit, the seeds give you such healthy fats and the oats are amazing at balancing  cholesterol.

These bars aren't like 'rabbit food' like many healthy bars are and when I eat them as a snack I don't see them as healthy because they are like the bars you buy at the supermarket
If you try these out please comment and share your thoughts!
Thank you for reading
Until next time
B x

Recovery from Anorexia.

Hello :)
So a lot of my previous posts have been focused around anorexia and what it is like and the stigma surrounding the illness but I've realised I haven't written about recovery from anorexia. I know before I decided to enter recovery I didn't know what to expect and wanted to know what it was really like from a patients perspective. So in this post I am going to write about what my own personal recovery is like, how to enter into recovery for anorexia and what you can expect from recovery.
*I'd like to say I am based in the UK and so my knowledge about anorexia recovery can only really apply to the UK, also every institution has different ways in treating this illness this is just my own experience*

My Personal RecoveryMy recovery from anorexia began in September 2014. I go to a specialised hospital for the eating disorders and I am in the outpatient programme (meaning I don't stay at the hospital). They began my treatment by assessing me by basically asking me questions about my disorder such as:
-do I take any laxatives?
-do I purge?
-do I have fear foods?
-how many calories do I eat a day?
-what is my perception of myself?
They then took me into the medical room and took my weight and calculated my BMI, and did an all over body check. They sent to take 4 blood tests (over the course of the week) and an ECG scan (which checks your heart rate). At the end of the assessment they gave me the diagnosis of 'anorexia nervosa restrictive type' and gave me a beginner meal plan.
A meal plan is basically a plan of meals and snacks that you have to eat each day, it says the types of food that you can have at each snack/meal and the serving size. It's calculated to make sure you put weight on at a steady but safe rate and your body is getting all the nutrients its needs after being denied it for so long. The majority of eating disorder units put you on a low meal plan initially, because after months of starvation it's extremely bad and dangerous for you to begin to eat normal portions of food straight away. When I ate the food on this meal plan I felt like my stomach was going to split open where I was so full where I hadn't eaten for months. Once my body had adapted I was put onto a regular meal plan with much bigger portions meant for me to put on weight.
As for the therapy I see an eating disorder specialist every week to talk about my thoughts and she helps me put things to perspective for me and realise that being thin and not eating isn't a good thing, it is fatal. I also get weighed every week to track my progress.

(Above) portion size for dinner on starter meal plan

(Above) Portion size for dinner on regular meal plan

How to enter recovery
The best thing to do if you want or need to get help for anorexia is to honestly tell your parent or guardian, it will make things a lot easier for you especially when you're under the age of 18 as you can access all the best help through parental permission.
Going to your G.P is probably the best way to get help directly as they will have access to the best treatments in your area and will put you forward to be on the waiting list to be seen and assessed. The waiting lists for NHS treatment centres are long unfortunately (I waited 4 months).
Private treatment is similar to the treatment you can access through the NHS except there is no waiting list and you have to pay.

Be Prepared.
Anorexia recovery (like all recoveries) is extremely hard. When you begin to eat your meal plans your anorexia will scream so loudly it will be almost impossible to ignore it. You will feel so huge and you will be bloated and so full. But the bloating will fade in time as will the feeling so full because your body will adapt. Your eating disorder will tell you not to trust the treatment because they will make you fat. You will have days where the eating disorder goes and you follow your meal plan perfectly with little guilt. There will be days or weeks where your eating disorder will flare up and make you want to restrict/purge, I have hidden my foods on my meal plans for weeks, but you realise that will get you no where.
I've realised that hiding food will get me nowhere and this meal plan is the best possible thing for me. If I restrict I am feeding my eating disorder and nothing else. I have accepted that putting on weight is the best thing for me to get back my period, and my hair and my movement and energy and just my life. And you will realise that too

If you are in any doubt about whether recovery is worth it. It is.
It's scary and it's horrendous at times. I've hated myself and felt fatter then ever but I can stand up without blacking out, I have energy to laugh, to walk, I'm not cold all the time. If you do not eat you're feeding your eating disorder and the misery you feel with this illness will just get worse. My eating disorder made me love being thin but nowhere near as much as I love recovery and my recovery life. Below are some useful websites for you if you need or are interested in anorexia recovery
remember that eating is a requirement to survive and you have every right to eat
be strong
thank you so much for reading
B x
Recovering from anorexia and bulimia
National centre for eating disorder recovery
NHS-Anorexia Nervosa

'What is anorexia actually like?' *T/W*

Hello :)

Todays post is based on the question written above which I tend to receive more often then not from both people online and people in my life.
So here we go but before I do write this disclaimer
*anorexia is different for everyone, this post is just what my own personal anorexia is like* 

Okay so many people describe their anorexia as a voice in their head, and I agree with this. My anorexia is like having another person from in my head (I call her the typical name of Ana) and she talks to me pretty much all day everyday until the moment I go to sleep. This voice is my eating disorder, it tells various things such as:
"you're too fat to eat"
"you don't deserve to eat"
"being skinny is all that matters"
"look at you, you can't eat"
"50 calories that's WAY too much"
"no one will love you unless you're thin"
"call yourself an anorexic, look at you eating you pig"

My voice screams louder then anyone else in my life. It screams louder then the doctor, then my family, then my loved ones, it's all I can hear and all I listen to when it actually comes down to eating.
I know all the side effects of this disease, in fact I feel them now. I have joint pains, I can't stand up for long, I can't walk for longer then 10 minutes, I sleep twice during the day everyday and my health is only going to get worse and worse until I reach *god forbid* infertility, hair loss, brittle bones etc. But my voice tells me this won't happen to me, that if I'm thin then that's all that matters and so I carry on and I simply cannot help myself. Food is consistently on my mind, I go to sleep at night planning my meals the next day and how I will avoid eating anything extra whether that's hiding food or making excuse upon excuse not to eat.

I sometimes have good days where the voice dies down and I eat more in a day, but sooner or later the voice always comes back booming louder then ever, making me eat less and less to make up for what I've previously eaten.

source

And so to answer the above question, for me anorexia is like this:
Imagine having another person tied onto your back and they whisper into your ear. This person hates you more then anyone and anything and uses all your mistakes in the past and present against you and uses it as fuel to get you to hate yourself into convincing you, you need to change, that you need to be as thin as is humanly possible. They are there every second of every day telling you the opposite of what everyone else says to you, and you believe them, you cannot help but believe them. And as every day goes on they get tied tighter and tighter to you making it harder and harder for you to get them off and be free from them.

I'm not too sure if what I have written has made any sense at all, I hope it has. I hope this has enlightened some and help some to realise that anorexics can't 'Just eat' despite knowing what they are doing to themselves.

Thank you for reading :)
B x

Food on my thoughts.

Hello:)

So for a good few months now food and the prospect of eating has...well taken over my life. 

I cannot pick up a food and eat it without a long process of thoughts of how many calories are in this piece of food and if it will make me fat from eating it and so I have my foods that I know are safe and well I don't eat anything but those foods. 

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, no guilt. Now I can barely pick up a piece of fruit without feeling guilty after it and quite frankly it's shit. 

I'm stuck in a never ending circle of wanting to eat pizza and cake like every other human being my age but not wanting to be fat and feel like a failure. 

As sad as it may make my life seem the feeling of hunger and refusing pizza or cake etc. actually gives me a sense of achievement....saying that (well typing it) actually highlights how sad that is and how bad this situation has gotten 

Sure I get the "just eat more" thing a lot but people don't really understand how impossible that is for me and for a lot of other people I guess as well. 

I ate 700-800 calories a day....that's half of what I should do I have no energy for anything even to feel happy and I am fully aware of all the health risks and how that is for me and how it will slow down my metabolism and only make things worse...but I cannot help it, it's a constant mental battle for me. 

I am sorry if you've come across this post and it's made you sad but I guess I needed to let my inner brain contents out onto a page 

If you have any advice then that would be really appreciated because honestly my life is just a misery right now 

I am not officially diagnosed with any eating disorder if anyone was wondering,

Thank you for reading if you did.

B x

Photo credit weheartit.com